At this point, I have really settled into a kind of HRT groove. I have been taking it for a little over 3 months ( I somehow missed that milestone) and it has become something that I do on autopilot. For the first two months it was incredibly exciting. Every couple of day I would look in the mirror and see something new or different. Now everything is more gradual. It has become much more of a waiting game where I only see a difference every couple of weeks.
Not a lot has changed in the last two weeks. I have seen some additional breast development. It is now noticeable in almost every shirt I own. I don’t think that they are even that large, they just extend outward too much to easily conceal. They are incredibly conical (as is common for trans women) and extend almost two inches out from my chest. One is also considerably larger than the other at the moment, which I find quite amusing aesthetically. They have not filled out much, but it is only week 14. I plan to start progesterone at about the 6 month mark, as it supposedly helps with breast development and especially filling out the breasts.
Another recent change concerns how I see myself. For the last week or so, I have had a hard time recognizing and gendering myself in a mirror. Admittedly , this is a purely psychological phenomenon and may have nothing to do with HRT. However, this never happened prior to beginning my medical transition. I find it interesting because as far as I can tell my face has not changed at all. Even comparing pictures, I can’t see any difference. Yet, I keep instinctively “reading” my face in the mirror as female or as androgynous. I find it interesting that my perception of my face has changed even if my face apparently has not.
Another change from HRT that I have not spoken about much is decreased dysphoria. Because dysphoria is a completely subjective matter, it is difficult to compare pre and post HRT dysphoria. Most of my dysphoria is social in nature, being seen and treated as a man is very distressing to me emotionally and mentally. I also have some physical dysphoria, but it is fairly limited and only occasionally affects me. Dysphoria from both of these sources has gone down since starting HRT. I don’t know how much of the decrease in social dysphoria is due to HRT and how much is due to social isolation due to the quarantine, but the reduction in physical dysphoria is definitely due to the HRT.
I am probably going to start writing these transition progress posts every two weeks. The changes from HRT have become so gradual that weekly posts just don’t make sense anymore.
Natalie's Transition Diary 