Navigating a job offer with my gender transition

I received some very good news last week, a company that I interviewed with offered me a job. I am quite excited about this job, it is in my field and is local. Contrary to my expectations, I will not have to move. However there is one small problem, I did not tell them I was trans or that I am a woman. I presented as a cis man throughout the interview process (often with some difficulty). This has put me in a tricky spot. I am supposed to have my first day of work in two weeks and I don’t know if or how I should reveal that I am trans.

When I first started looking for a new job, I decided that I wanted to remain closeted. When I first started looking for a new job, I decided that I wanted to remain closeted. I intended to hide my gender identity during both the interview process and when I actually started working. I am only out to one person in my personal life and I do not want to expand that circle to include an entire workplace. However, this no longer seems to be a realistic option. My new job has a business casual dress code and I am unable to conceal the changes from HRT within their dress code. I have tried every technique that I can think of, but it is still visually evident that I am not cis.

This has left me with three options. First, I could reach out to HR prior to starting and let them know I am trans. This seems like the worst idea to me, as it provides me with almost no legal protection if they rescind the offer. The second option is to come out on the first day of work. This is better as I will have more legal protection from discrimination once I actually start working, but is still not my ideal scenario. The third option is to simply not come out even if my being trans is noticeable. I would continue to present as a man for the near future and would come out whenever I felt comfortable. This is my preferred option and what I am likely going to do. Employment law in my state prohibits inquiring about my sex or gender identity so they can not even ask if they suspect. It is not perfect by any means, but at the moment not coming out at my new job seems to be the best choice.

Honestly, despite all my planning, I am incredibly anxious and scared about this new job. During my interviews and tour, I did not get the impression that they were very inclusive. I do not know how my job will handle even the suspicion that I might be trans, let alone me hypothetically coming out. I do not have any options other than accepting the job either. Transitioning costs money, and unemployment currently is not covering both my medical costs and my living expenses. I need a job to afford the medical aspects of my transition and this is a pretty good one. It pays well and is close by, so I won’t have to relocate. While my new job seems decent and will solve some of my financial problems, I am anxious that they won’t be accepting of my gender identity.

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