Week 38: Cresting the peak on a rough month

I am doing better now. The last few weeks have been pretty rough. Between issues with the pharmacy, a lot of back-and-forth with my HRT provider, and some bad bouts of gender dysphoria, I have been struggling quite a bit. However, things have started to calm down towards the end of this week and it is looking like most of my current problems will resolve themselves within a couple of days. Hopefully, this means that things will return to normal or at least a little less anxiety-inducing.

Over the last month, I have not experienced many physical changes. In general, the pace and rate of changes have slowed down significantly. The standard fair of breast development and fat redistribution continue but it is far less noticeable. This isn’t too surprising. I have been on hormones for almost ten months and this is about the time that the rate of changes should diminish. The rate of physical changes is the most intense during the first six months and after that, it is much more gradual. It only makes sense that my rate of physical change has dropped. Despite expecting this slowdown, I am still a tad disappointed. I am not quite where I want to be in regards to my physical transition, so I wish that it wasn’t slowing down already.

In the same period, the medical aspects of my transition have also progressed. I should be switching over to injections starting this coming week, which is long overdue. I have been trying to do this for almost 2 months and I am very glad that this is happening. I am hopeful that injections will help get my hormone levels where I want them to be. This almost didn’t happen due to the pharmacy issues that I experienced last week. Those problems were ultimately resolved but in a less than satisfactory manner. After a week of back and forth, The pharmacy revealed that they don’t distribute injectable estradiol of any kind and so could not fill my prescription. I find this a tad unlikely, considering it is a major chain and there are other uses for injected estradiol, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had to quickly find another pharmacy and hope that they would actually distribute injectable estradiol. Fortunately, the next place I tried both stocked it, so I will have it in time for my next doctor’s appointment. By the end of this week, I should be on estradiol injections.

The last month has been rough, but it is looking like those difficulties are coming to an end. My pharmacy issues appear to be resolved and it looks like I will have far fewer issues with my new pharmacy. My HRT provider and I are still not on the same page, but we are getting there. Just getting them to agree to injections seems like a victory. I am a tad disappointed in the reduced physical changes, but it was completely expected. Ideally, switching to injections and getting my levels right would result in more changes but that isn’t guaranteed. After a very difficult month, I am hoping that the coming days will give me space to breathe.

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