A few weeks ago, I reached a significant milestone in my transition, 6 months of Hormone replacement therapy( HRT). This has led me to spend a lot of time reflecting on my transition and my progress so far. Many trans resources say that 6 months is roughly when many of the changes from HRT reach their peak. As such, it is a good time to reflect on my progress. At the moment, my feelings about my HRT results are bittersweet.
I tried to come into my transition with no expectations for HRT. The common mantra for trans HRT is “your mileage may vary”, everyone’s results are different. Although some factors, such as age, have an influence; you can’t predict the extent of HRT changes. In order to avoid disappointment, I tried to have no expectations. The idea was if I didn’t have goals, I would not be sad if I don’t meet them.
Despite this, I still have mixed feelings about my physical progress. Now don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with many of the changes. Fat redistribution started early on and has had a major impact. My waist has narrowed considerably and the fat has redistributed to my hips and thighs. My silhouette now is vastly different than from when I started. I am similarly happy about my breast development. Breast growth started early and I have had some decent progress. I had honestly hoped for more breast growth, especially in light of these early results. The dosage issues that I have experienced likely played a role, since my breast growth stalled about 4-5 months on. My recent change in dosage seems to have restarted that development, so it may be too soon for a final verdict.
The one area where I am legitimately disappointed is my face. I really hoped that the HRT would feminize my facial features, however that does not seem to be the case. Although some people have said that I look younger, I can’t see any difference in my facial structure. Even comparing current photos to pre-HRT photos, I do not see any difference (although the skin is definitely smoother). This is unfortunate but not the end of the world. Some effects of HRT can take a while to show up and it is possible getting my hormone levels right will help. There is always FFS as a last resort.
Looking back at the last 6 months, I have mixed emotions. I feel a bit greedy: I have had fairly good results so far, but I want more. My breast growth and fat redistribution have been significant, at least for only 6 months. Yet I am disappointed by the lack of change to my face. It is frustrating having something so impactful be completely out of your control. I want to be able to do something to improve my results. But, there is no secret to get better results. You just have to wait and leave it to chance.