A long-delayed haircut

Last week, I got my hair cut for the first time since starting HRT. I had been putting it off for a while before that, it has probably been over 7 months since the last time I had it cut. I had this fear that a hairdresser would cut my hair short against my wishes (it had happened before). I want to grow my hair out as part of my transition so the possibility of it being cut short was quite scary to me. As a result of this fear, I just didn’t get my hair cut. However, after so many months it had gotten to a point where I needed it cut for the sake of presentability.

The hardest part of getting a haircut, once I decided I needed one, was deciding where to go. Where should a closeted trans woman go to get their haircut? I didn’t want to go to a barber. I wouldn’t have been personally comfortable there and they tend to cut more hair off. But I didn’t feel comfortable going to a woman-oriented salon either. I am currently presenting male full-time and it felt wrong to go to a place that primarily catered to women. I didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable by my presence. I had been in that situation before and it feels awful. Avoiding these two options only left unisex places, which in my area are almost exclusively low-price chains. That is what I am have been doing for the last couple of years, but I have never been happy with the results.

I ultimately decided to bite the bullet and go to a salon that catered primarily to woman. I was tired of getting bad haircuts and losing months of hair growth to an overeager barber. I also hoped that a hairdresser that catered mostly to women would cut my hair in a more feminine way. More importantly, I needed to build up my confidence. If I can’t even get a haircut, how can I expect to have the courage needed for future steps in my transition.

In the end, the actually haircut was uneventful. I purposely went at an odd time on a weekday so that it wouldn’t be busy. Despite this, I was incredibly nervous. The hair stylist was friendly though and I left pretty happy with my haircut. I didn’t lose too much length and that was my biggest fear. And perhaps more importantly, it helped build some confidence for future endeavors. It will be easier next time.

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