Voice training struggles

I hate voice training with a passion. So far, it is one of only two aspects of my transition that I am genuinely struggling with. The voice training struggle has been constant since I started transitioning and I have effectively given up on training it for now.

I am not very dysphoric about my voice. It has never been something that was a serious issue for me, there were always other aspects of myself that triggered far worse dysphoria. However, I still want to get a passable voice. It is something that I personally need for my transition. I want to be able to pass before coming out, and having a decent female voice is part of that.

Despite my best efforts, voice training is just not working for me. The primary issue is that I am incapable of doing even the most simple of voice training exercises. Despite training for the first month of my transition, I could not even perform the basic voice training exercises. The other issue is that I would lose my voice afterwards. I would lose my voice the day after training, which was an issue with my job. Overall, voice training was a massive discouragement and I have not really trained my voice consistently after the first month of HRT. Without the ability to perform the exercises, I don’t see much of a point of trying to train it.

From my research, it appears that the only option if you cannot do the basic voice training exercises is to see a voice coach or speech therapist. Unfortunately, that can be pretty expensive. My insurance likely won’t cover it and lessons seem to be around $70-100 a week for a reputable coach. Professional speech therapists are even more expensive. The other issue is lack of availability. In my area, there are no speech therapists or voice coaches that work with trangender people (at least, they don’t advertise as such). I would either need to drive 3 hours for every appointment or do the lessons over the internet.

Currently, my efforts to feminize my voice are at a roadblock. I can’t train my voice on my own because I can’t perform the exercises. I currently can’t afford to see a voice coach or speech therapist because my insurance won’t cover it. As a result, I am at an impasse. I want to have the voice mostly settled before coming out. I still have time though. I am currently not planning on coming out for at least another year, maybe more. Hopefully in that time I will be able to train my voice.

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